Welcome to our hectic journey as a family, hope you like the chaos!
Every family has its ups and downs. In ours it is more like a permanent roller-coaster that never stops even for a minute to refuel. The fuel level is never low. And I must repeat. Never. We are embracing the chaos. We have to. It is just a question of life and death. So buckle up and enjoy the ride!
Having Four Children And Doing It All
Having four children, it must be assumed there are never any silence in our home. There are toys everywhere. Dirty socks (or kid’s socks) can be found absolutely everywhere. Yes everywhere: on the sofa, under the beds, on the third row seat of the car, in the backyard, all wet on the shower floor, in shoes nobody wears, in the school bags, under the dining table. So yes, they can be found everywhere.
The Lost Shoes Planet
Having four kids means there is at least one who has a cold or needs a band aid. It also means there are at least 24 shoes scattered all over the house. Now you are wondering why 4 kids x 2 feet each can equal 24!? No I did not give birth to octopuses! I didn’t I can assure it. And I am not lousy at maths. It is just that my kiddos really like shoes. And they are always loosing them all over the place. Even with rules and daily reminders, they take off their shoes anywhere. And they don’t care.
So when we are, finally, all ready to leave the house in the morning we cannot, we are stuck. There is at least one soldier who is missing a shoe. Sure this young fellow could wear another pair of shoes. And you’re right. But what you don’t know is that he does not have any other complete pair of shoes. None. And no you cannot wear one flip-flop in your right foot and a running shoe in the left. Damn it!
Four kids means more squabbles, more arguing, more time-out, but also more love, more joy and more pride. It also makes your family memories four times more exciting and four times more eventful. Sure there is the chaos associated with it, but it is for sure, never boring.
When Your Child Has Asperger’s
As if it was not complicated and erratic enough, now you have to add Asperger’s to the whole equation. Meltdown, sensory processing disorder, rigid behaviors are not what you would wish to add to the recipe. It creates such a volcano that you never know when it is going to erupt. And yes it will erupt eventually, and more often than you think. You’d be advised! So when I said our life, our family, is a roller-coaster, I was not joking!
How To Deal With ADHD
Four children and Asperger’s syndrome would not be enough without ADHD. And yes, it runs through my children’s veins too. And this time, for more than just one child. At least three out of four for now have ADHD. And believe me when I say my kids strongly have the hyperactivity part of the ADHD acronym. They are restless more than they should be. They are not born with an OFF button. And sadly we are not entitled, as parents, to add this feature when those babies are created. There must have been a defect in our assembly line, because none of our children were born with this option. Just kidding!
Being asleep at 8 pm: never! Being still awake at 11pm: always! Napping: for babies only!
Between my business, my blog, my children’s appointment and activities, my much needed couple time and personal time, how am I suppose to keep my house spick and span? How am I suppose to get everything in order all the time? I have breakfasts, lunches and dinners to prepare, groceries to get, kids to pick up and drive around, tons of laundry to wash, dry, fold and put away and floors to mop. On top of that I have shoes, tons of shoes, to retrieve, dusting to do, flowerbeds to arrange.
There are just 24 hours in a day. And I can’t do it all. I, once, had a housekeeper helping me but as soon as the tribe arrived at the end of the day, it was like she had never been in the house. It is like no cleaning had been done that day. So I dropped it out. I acknowledged, at that moment, that since I could not do it all, and having outside help was not helping at the end, that I should just embrace the chaos.
Embracing The Chaos As A Family
Embracing the chaos is, for now, the only choice I have. The only choice my husband and I have. If we don’t, we’ll drive ourselves crazy. We will focus on the material instead of focusing on the most important, the little humans that clearly need our help and our presence as much as we can. And when we decided to have a family of our own, this is the promise we made to ourselves and our future kids: being there, as much as we can, as much as possible, for better or for worse.
This chaos is our journey as a family. This is our day-to-day reality. Even if sometimes, many times, I wish I could move things around, and aim for the easiest path, at the end of the day I would not change my family for anything. You got to learn to let it go, take a deep breath and control what you can (and you cannot control it all, that’s just the way it is).
The positive side in all this is that it makes us all stronger days after days.