I love justice! I really love when people are fair, honest and good. I consider myself a good person so I expect the same from others. For me it is all a question of principle and I stick to it.
I have been around good and less good people in the pasts years; I have been in good and awkward situations. You can learn practical lessons from both positions. Learning from the bad side of thing is less exciting and is often related to stress, financial or moral anxiety. You can never underestimate the costs of trusting the wrong people. Staying positive certainly helps dealing with harder stuff.
Let It Go – Easier Said Than Done?
I realized know that I need to let go more often. OMG it is so hard sometimes. How can I erase from my active memory the harm or the dishonesty affecting me or my family?
And how am I supposed to live happily knowing there are opportunists, claiming to be my friends, taking advantage of my good will?
You have to. I have to. No need for sleepless nights or eczema patches. No you don’t need that. I don’t need either. Man up (or woman up girl) you can do it. I need to myself.
As Elsa sings it in Let It Go (movie Frozen, 2013), “Let it go, let it go; Can’t hold it back anymore”, that’s exactly how we should face adversity. You can never let it ruin your happiness or your positive mindset.
Be Positive – Stay Positive
Being positive is the first step in creating a positive mindset. Usually I am good at finding the positive of every situation. I get amazed by life little things all the time. It feels childish (mostly to others) sometimes but it helps me staying connected to everything around me. Last year I tended to be less aware about it. Maybe it was the massive exhaustion or everything going on in my personal life, but I felt as if I was getting disconnected from my environment.
On the verge of the new year, I took the conscious decision of going back to my roots, meaning finding the positive, as much as I could, around me. Do I succeed? Not always. Do I try on a everyday basis? Most days. And I am proud of myself. One of my friend just told me so this morning.
Taking Things Personally
When people are dishonest or take advantage of my good will, I have a hard time letting it go. For me, as I said, it is all a question of principle. I do not fool others so I don’t understand why they would. When it happens I feel like my Asperger’s child not understanding the bad side of people. I am honest so I hope you are too. If I am being selfless, why would you be selfish? So even the smallest act of treachery, betrayal or evilness feels like a huge deal to me. It is shaking the core of my own being.
When money is involved, it took your anger to an all new level. You are working hard for your money so you don’t need a inglorious a***hole taking that from you. You earned it. That’s one of the scenario case where it gets to me the most. This and hurting my family. Don’t mess with my family, my values or my money!
No More Grey Hair Or Getting Rid Of Unwelcome Stress
I have read a whole lot about self conscious meditation. I even tried doing it for some times but I find it hard to commit for 30 to 60 minutes a day, having four young children around. The hard thing is that I am missing time for the basic chores so squeezing half-an-hour of mediation + another one for training purpose in my day is kind of impossible.
Keeping a journal is another way I tried dealing with unwanted feelings impinging on my good mood. Every mornings s you wake up, you write down your thoughts. Everything going on in your head. The good and the bad. You emphasize on the positive and you try to write down what you are grateful for in your life (or your day, or in your work or personnal life).
This option is easier to squeeze in a super-active-super-busy-super-loaded life. You can take as much time as you want (or have!). The important thing is to write something and be positive. It really helps, I think, taking the bad feelings away and making some place for joyful things happening in your day. My husband and I, and our daughters are doing it for the last couple of months and we do really appreciate how it makes us feel and perceive things around us we would take time to appreciate otherwise.
Yoga is another way of bringing positive thinking on your life. And on the plus side, it also serves as a training. This is one of my favorite way, with the journal,of staying positive. Doing yoga helps clear your mind and be receptive to nice things happening around. It work your muscle as much as your mind, so its a win-win. It can be tricky when starting the practice because you do not know what kind of yoga to look for. Look up for iTunes Gaiam videos or their DVD . They have a great selection for beginners.
A session of punching and kicking is also a good way to relieve stress and frustration. You just need to learn the rudiments of a good punch (or kick) and buy a set of gloves and you are ready to go. As a bonus, this exercise also provide you with a good cardio training.
Even if it is hard to do most of the time, negative thoughts or feelings are not good for you. You can not let those interfere with your happiness and play games with your mind. So next time you feel overwhelmed just remember it is not good for your body and soul to ruminate bad feelings and to remain hooked to bad people taking you for granted and taking advantage of your good self.
Believe that one day, karma or destiny will take care of them and give them all the sh*t they deserve.
Take a deep breath and let it go.